Joe. (notaninja) wrote in awful_fanfics,

SPEED RACER -- The Most Dangerous Car to Pass

The race had just started and Speed found himself behind. In front of him stood another driver's car and Speed couldn't pass around him, if he turned a curve, the car turned a curve with him, if he changed lanes the car would change lanes in front of him, checking him. Speed had to win so that he could prove to Racer X that he was the fastest driver on the road, and then him and Trixie could go out alone together and hold hands! Speed even tried putting on his turn-signal, but the car in front of him paid no attention to his proper courtesy. "I guess I'll have to go over him," Speed thought to himself as he reached for one of the buttons on the Mach 5's steering wheel. Instead of jumping over the other car, however, a pair of saws extended out of the Mach 5's front grill and started to instantly tear through the car's rigid fiberglass frame like it was made of paper. Speed panicked, hitting the accelerator, the bumper of the Mach 5 locking under the other car's and the circular blades splitting through the rear compartments. The driver swerved to free himself, but lost control of the vehicle, careening into a tree at the side of the road. He let out a hideous scream as he was cut in half at the torso, a victim of Speed's blind judgement.

"oh god, oh god," Speed thought to himself, regaining consciousness from the force of the impact, "I've just killed an innocent driver, what do I do?" He ran away to go find Pops Racer.

"Hmm..." Pops muttered, scratching his head and looked over the car, taking in the scene. "Speed, you've killed a man, and that means trouble. Trouble and jail time! And jail time means you might not finish the race! But I think I know how to help," he lectured, tipping his cap with a smug look, "Speed, you need to understand that the Mach 5 is a phenomenal machine! A phenomenal machine for driving! I've just finished waterproofing the trunk. We can store the dead body in there until you're finished! Finished driving the race! A race you must win, Speed! -- Even though you disobeyed me and should not be driving the Mach 5 that I built!" he said as he started bounding from one foot to the other angrily.

"Pops, this is no time to get angry, we've got to hide the body," Speed replied, hurriedly moving to the front cab, and slinging the other driver's upper torso over his shoulder. Pops nodded, opening the trunk, "Waitasec" Pops said, looking into the trunk, "Spritle and Chim-Chim are in here and I think they're dead too." Speed made an exaggerated "Oh," as he came over to see. The little boy and monkey had climbed into the trunk, and now were a pale shade of blue. Speed didn't even know monkeys can turn blue! "They must have stowed away when I parked the Mach 5 in the garage eight hours ago. I thought I heard some knocking, but I thought Snake Oiler had sabotaged my fuel line!" Pops chuckled, "I guess eight hours in a watertight trunk will do that to children and their pets!" In spite of the situation, Speed thought it was pretty funny and started laughing too, and then Trixie and Sparky and Speed's mom (you know, that one who had practically the same head as Trixie), came by for no reason and they laughed as well.
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