Joe. (notaninja) wrote in awful_fanfics,

RAMBO -- No Retreat, No Surrender!

Rambo swooped down low over the treetops of the waterway, his chopper filled with the precarious cargo of P.O.W.s. A white plume of smoke ejected from the rear stabilizer, helplessly circling on its flank like a wounded hippopotamus. The Russian Mi-24 Hind gunship roaring behind him, effortlessly bearing down on him.  Inside, the Russian commandant sneered a merciless Slavic grin as he twisted his thumb, firing the rocket dead into the path of Rambo's crippled helicopter.

A BLAST!, a large explosion burst through the sky as the rocket collided with something, blocking the windscreen of the red starred pilot's vantage point momentarily. The Soviet helicopter menaced over the area, searching for the debris and helpless bodies of his victims. His eyes narrowed, scanning over the ground. Suddenly, he saw something! Rambo's helicopter, still intact, was hovering miraculously just over the water, Rambo unconscious in its cockpit! The Bolshevik brought his craft down, face-to-face with the strange sight. Suddenly, Rambo popped up, aiming a shoulder-mounted rocket launcher and firing it out of the hole in the front of his cockpit. The Hind disintegrated in a ball of fire and metal. "Wow, that was a close call, guys," Rambo laughed, turning back. His glance met with the sight of the entire back compartment seared black-grey, the P.O.W.s' bodies instantly cremated by the backblast at close quarters. Rambo paused, then shrugged and tilted the helicopter to its side, gravity dumping the incinerated remains into the Vietnamese river below.

"So it turns out there weren't any P.O.W.s over there after all," Rambo said as he got back to the base in Thailand, adding, "I guess you were right all along, Murdoch."

"But I thought I saw you with a P.O.W.!" Col. Trautman insisted empathically.

"Oh, he's from Belgium," Rambo said, "and it turns out, he likes Vietnam."

And with that, Rambo walked off to go make a sandwich.
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